


Doctor Who - Colepaldi RPF - Hold me tight

by Colepaldi-in-the-Tardis (Samstown4077)



Series: Colepaldi Collection [13]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who RPF
Genre: Angst, Colepaldi rpf, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Kill the moon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-20 00:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2408498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samstown4077/pseuds/Colepaldi-in-the-Tardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the last scene in Kill the Moon, Peter hugs Jenna till she stops crying. Angst, Friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doctor Who - Colepaldi RPF - Hold me tight

**Author's Note:**

> Colepaldi RPF - Set after “Kill the Moon”  
> From a tumblr post : I like to think that after filming that painful scene, Peter hugged Jenna so tight not wanting to let her go until she’d stopped crying.  
> Collection of Headcanons and Fic(lets) for the RPF Colepaldi ship. Please do not read when you don't like Real Person Fiction!  
> Sorry for any mistakes, my native is not English, thanks for reading anyway. Remember this is a fictional story.

They had wrapped up the Lanzarote shot three days ago. A beautiful location for shooting, but also exhausting. The flight and the tight schedule. They literally had stepped out of the plane, directly into the studio to film the indoor scenes.

In the morning they had filmed the scene with Jenna and Ellis when they took off with the Doctor to the moon.

Now, just one scene was left. Clara calling the Doctor out on his behaviour, telling him not to come back soon. Very intense and full of emotions.

It is also the last scene for Jenna, before she goes off to an almost two weeks filming break. She will not appear in the next episode. The almost peak in the dramatic turns of the season between Clara and the Doctor.

 

Since an half hour Jenna concentrates on her dialogue, sits in her stool, forcing the emotions that will be needed into her. She has shut herself away from the others, to get into the mood.

Peter knows and does not bother her anymore. He knows it is an important scene, it is a turn in the season and will hurt so many when it has aired.

 

The crew tries to do the scene in one or two shots. Placing several cameras in the right angle, so while Jenna is doing her monologue, they will also catch Peters reaction. Not wanting to do the dialogue again, it would lose some of its emotional magic. The first take is quite often the best.

Short before they start shooting he brings himself into a “not caring” Doctor mood and Jenna stands by the console, lost in thought - a sad face.

 

Indeed they can make the scene in one go.

 

 _‘She is brilliant!’_ Peter thinks, when Jenna is bawling at him. So full of passion and anger at the same time. Seeing the tears that build up in her eyes makes him almost fear for her and it helps him so much to bring tears to his own eyes.

 

When she storms out of the Tardis, the doors go shut with a soft bang, “And cut! Very good thank you!”

 

There is a moment of silence, just a split second, before the set starts to vibrate again like a hive. Cameras are going back into the starting positions - just in case for a reshoot. The shot material is rewatched and discussed by several people.

 

Peter still stands there, looking at the door, waiting. Jenna hasn't come back yet. He glances around, nobody really cares about him right now, it seems the scene is done. Slowly he moves to the door, opens it up, finding Jenna standing behind it.

Curiously enough almost no one is around. Some stagehands are swirling around, leaving Jenna by herself, expecting she is rehearsing some text or so. She stands there, her head hanging down a bit, her shoulders are slack. He can see from behind that she has on hand at her face.

 

“You’re alright?” he asks softly and she jumps slightly. Not turning around she quickly rubs her eyes.  

 

“Peter! Yes, oh, it is nothing,” she still cries.

 

“No, you are crying.”

 

Now she turns around. He is hit by the sheer sadness of hers, written all over her face. “Jenna…”

 

She tries to wave him off, tries to swallow the lump in her throat down.

“It is nothing, really. Just stupid me,” gesturing around with her hands hoping it would make the tears away, but it makes it almost worse. “Damn method acting!” a poor try of a joke, her head sinks down again, hands hiding the little stream of salty water, she is turning away.

 

“No, come on. Come here!” he steps up to her, takes her by the shoulders and pulls her in. Pressing her softly into his chest, embracing her with his long arms, placing his hands on her head and shoulder, giving comfort.

 

When he came out the door, she felt embarrassed at first. She was acting like a little kid, with all the tears, but she couldn’t stop crying. Couldn’t stop thinking about all the thoughts that were in her head all day, all week long. She is not like this, so weak, so emotionally attached to something. She should be more professional, she usually is. All the time.

Of course she knew, he wouldn’t leave her alone, he cared, so much - in superficial contrast to his alter ego.

 

The warmth of his hands and the soft stream of air of his breath streaming down her cheeks, when he takes her in his arms, make her relax. It is alway astonishing how his presence makes her feel safe.

 

She has some deep thought weeks behind her. All the fuss about the new Doctor at first. The big topic! Of course there is more. It is not only about the new Doctor, it is about the companion too.

 

“No Companion, no Doctor,” Peter had once said to her.

 

A light headed remark, with no intentions. It came to a time, she was trying to make up her mind what to do with her career. Stay another season on the Doctor Who set - surely having the time of her life, or to move on.

 

“You have to go, when you have to go,” Matt (Smith) had said in an interview, and the sentence got stuck in her head.

 

Even if she wanted, she couldn’t stay forever. Being a companion for the next ten years wouldn’t really work out, would it? Surely she could reprise her role anytime. Would be fun, also it wouldn’t be the same.

 

Before Peter and her met the first time, she had made up her mind. Not staying too long anymore. Maybe another half of season 9. Then move on. Although life is never this predictable and when she and Peter had met the first time and had made their first read through, it was not only her, in which the assumption started growing that this was somehow an (acting partner) match of a lifetime. Other could sense it too.

 

In just two weeks of working together, all her ideas of how it would go after Doctor Who, were now in doubt.

Gosh, yes, she cared too much. About Doctor Who, about Clara and the Doctor. She is browsing the net, she knows that other people are giving well damn much about how the season will end.

It is not the only thing she cares, she cares about Peter, the fun she has with him, the connection they have. It never had happened for her before. Her acting career was just about to start and even she never showed it to others, everything was still so new. Interviews still scared her, the public interest in her person made her shiver when no one was looking. As an actress she knew of course how to act like it was business. It was - but  never really.

She was almost 30 years old, and still all the decisions that had to be made, were so horrible sometimes.

_‘How do people even do it? How does Peter do it?’_

 

She has to tell Moffatt in four weeks if she wants to leave or not. After that, the scripts will be written and then, there is no more turning point, no more heading back. Leave or go. Steven was really nice and had told her she could stay, but it was her decision. Jenna had to make this one alone.

 

This gnaws in her head, day and night and she can't tell anyone. She can't tell Peter about it, fears how he would react. He would never try to influence her in any direction, he would be just so polite and nice and would try to help her sort things out. Give her the pro and contras. She knows him well enough that he - deep inside of him - he would be very upset if she would leave and alone this thought makes her heart ache.

Telling him, would mean to her, she would make a decision for staying, because she cares. About him. She is involved. She shouldn’t be, but she is. In her mind carousel it is, at the end of the day, never about leaving the show, it is about leaving him and she feels horrible to have this thought.

 

That is the reason for her crying, the scene was so intense, it felt like a goodbye already. _‘Stupid!’_ she will have only a few days off, than will come back to work. It is June, they still have till November together shooting.

 

“It will be fine,” his voice brings her back.

 

He knows damn well it is not only about the scene. They had other intense scenes together. He knows the writers have some other heavy stuff in petto for them in the future. It is not about her leaving for a week or two - what will be very strange for him, after spending so much time together, day and night.

 

The moment, it is like a synonym, for things to come. Decision that have to be made. He is not stupid, he is in the business even before Jenna was born. It is clear as daylight, they can’t be Doctor and Companion forever. The thought pleases him, he can be the Doctor for the next 10 years, his career would end slowly after leaving anyway.

 

He would have done his job, would have made his money and history. After Doctor Who he can lean back and wait, do once a year a BBC movie and it would be fine. There is no more need to think about making money for survival. These times were over now.

 

On the other hand, it is not the same for Jenna. Her career was just about to begin. She has to find the right moment to leave the train, otherwise she possibly get stuck. No Jenna Coleman, only the actress who played Clara Oswald or worse, the Impossible Girl. He is aware enough not to tell Jenna about his thoughts, it will trouble her even more. She knows anyway.

 

A lot of people can sense it, the chemistry between them - he knows it for sure. They are connected with each other. Involved. The truth is, it will break his heart when she will leave.

 

She has the potential of becoming a real star after the show, she is brilliant and her character development and development as an actress stuns him every day anew. Working her ass off everyday, fighting for the figure of Clara.

 

 _“Sometimes calling Moffat and the other writers out on their bullshit,”_ she had used the phrase after two glasses of wine a few weeks ago.

 _“Jenna Coleman, the first in line to fight for the pairing Doctor/Clara,”_ he had laughed, having the same amount of alcohol in his veins.

_“It is important, Peter. I don’t want to go and leave them in shattered pieces. The fans would hate us for doing it, and I can understand why.”_

 

Somehow that evening, she had opened his eyes for _“the ship”_ , and he had realized how much she cared. With wine or without it in her bloodstream.

 

 _‘She is my carer,_ ’ it flashes through his thoughts.

 

A sniffle reaches his ear, and as an answer he places a kiss on top of her head. Her hands pressing him closer for a moment before slowly releasing from him. Her eyes are red, and he can see, that she still feels stupid about her little breakdown.

 

 _‘Its okay,’_ he mimics, taking her hands in his, still close together. “I know.”

 

There is no need for other words. She understands what he wants to say and it makes her heart a bit lighter. Knowing he is there. Knowing he can see through the façade of hers.

 

Peter is not the Doctor, he will not step inside a box and vanish, leave her in times of hard decisions. He can’t make them for her, that’s for sure.

He will do what he has to do as a friend, he will stay at her side, if she wants it or not, will give her comfort, give her strength in times of trouble.

 

They both know, when she leaves (sooner or later it will come to it), it will break their hearts. They don’t admit it to each other, but they don’t have to.

They know.

They are involved.

It is more than chemistry.

It is special.  
  


  
  
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([gif credit](http://ithelpstodream.tumblr.com/post/99168013047/that-was-you-my-friend-making-me-scared-making))

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is written after "Kill the Moon" but before "MUMMY" , so there where rumours of Jenna not appearing in the next episode, what explains the little bit about it in this fic.  
> Hope you enjoyed reading it, if so --> Kudos?!  
> Stay tuned, there will come more Colepaldi RPF. I will update regularly.


End file.
